Quarantine Month 1 reflections
It has already been four weeks since everything happened, which has been quite a roller coaster. It is crazy to think how casing started increasing the first week of March and the school rapidly emailed us and many hand sanitizer and sanitizing wipe stations cropped up around campus. Then the conferences scheduled for April were cancelled and slowly but surely classes were evacuated, campus closed, and we have shifted to online learning.
This past month has been quite the adjustment, both academically, physically, and emotionally. Online classes have been more challenging for me due to being a hands-on learner, needing structure, and avoiding extensive reading. When you are alone - it is easy to notice your own challenges and feel "stuck." I noticed I was having a hard time with font on a test and was frustrated with myself - when in all reality, it is okay to ask if I could adjust the font. I had to set up positive reinforcers to motivate me (like music, drawing, video chats) to get me to do work. I was confused with my sensory needs - like needing to have noise to be stimulated, multi-tasking to be able to sit and watch a TV series, and physical activity. I was so used to having a go-go-go schedule that kept me stimulated and physically active. I am slowly adjusting - but it is not easy and my heart goes to students who are K-12 and college/higher education students. This transition has shown disparities with technologies, scrambling to find ways to integrate special education services, section 504 accommodations, services needed for english language learners, and so much more.
This month has also gave me time to reflect on my emotional health and what I need both physically and mentally. I did have some concerns with my OCD symptoms - only to notice them dissipate when I left an unfit work environment. It seemed that being in classes, doing a co-op, working, thesis work, freelancing, and nursery leadership was an interesting recipe for physical burnout at some point. However, I do see my own challenges leading to situational anxiety - that need me to learn to acknowledge what is going on and take care of myself. I am dealing with subtle GI symptoms from anxiety but I am slowly working through this and accepting the grieving process with the pandemic. It helps to know that I am not alone in this - my advisor has texted me periodically, I am able to email my professors, connect with my home church in Bristol & my old church in NC, countless friends, and my own circle. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't communicate virtually - granted I will likely go back to hanging up due to being startled by my phone ringing - sorry to my adopted mom and C.S & lack of messaging.
Aside from self-care and acceptance of situation, I have been spending time doing things that are a part of who I am. I brought a keyboard when I first learned the pandemic would be extensive. Why? - I wanted to play around on a piano again after not being able to in so long. I remembered during the winter break, I played my guitar some and it was so calming to me and grounded me. I have so far been able to play some basic songs, like Amazing Grace (from a hymnal), BIBLE, and Chopsticks. I struggle to memorize the music but this will help. I am excited to be able to play part of Chopsticks though. I have also blogging and drawing. Art has always been fairly easy for me - at least drawing. I was able to appreciate the fact that when I took Drawing 1 in undergrad, it was during those times i was able to stay still and relax. I enjoyed talking with my art professor in the studio - which was one place I felt understood. Of course, I am able to spend time outside, walk, run, and do home workouts. I really hope that I can integrate what I am able to know into my career - especially with going into academia - by reducing the angst and burnout that I commonly see.
I do want to end with this thought:
Think about what you missed most during the pandemic and how important it is to you, but also reflect on the things that were toxic - remember to consider what your passions are and what makes you thrive in life...
This past month has been quite the adjustment, both academically, physically, and emotionally. Online classes have been more challenging for me due to being a hands-on learner, needing structure, and avoiding extensive reading. When you are alone - it is easy to notice your own challenges and feel "stuck." I noticed I was having a hard time with font on a test and was frustrated with myself - when in all reality, it is okay to ask if I could adjust the font. I had to set up positive reinforcers to motivate me (like music, drawing, video chats) to get me to do work. I was confused with my sensory needs - like needing to have noise to be stimulated, multi-tasking to be able to sit and watch a TV series, and physical activity. I was so used to having a go-go-go schedule that kept me stimulated and physically active. I am slowly adjusting - but it is not easy and my heart goes to students who are K-12 and college/higher education students. This transition has shown disparities with technologies, scrambling to find ways to integrate special education services, section 504 accommodations, services needed for english language learners, and so much more.
This month has also gave me time to reflect on my emotional health and what I need both physically and mentally. I did have some concerns with my OCD symptoms - only to notice them dissipate when I left an unfit work environment. It seemed that being in classes, doing a co-op, working, thesis work, freelancing, and nursery leadership was an interesting recipe for physical burnout at some point. However, I do see my own challenges leading to situational anxiety - that need me to learn to acknowledge what is going on and take care of myself. I am dealing with subtle GI symptoms from anxiety but I am slowly working through this and accepting the grieving process with the pandemic. It helps to know that I am not alone in this - my advisor has texted me periodically, I am able to email my professors, connect with my home church in Bristol & my old church in NC, countless friends, and my own circle. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't communicate virtually - granted I will likely go back to hanging up due to being startled by my phone ringing - sorry to my adopted mom and C.S & lack of messaging.
Aside from self-care and acceptance of situation, I have been spending time doing things that are a part of who I am. I brought a keyboard when I first learned the pandemic would be extensive. Why? - I wanted to play around on a piano again after not being able to in so long. I remembered during the winter break, I played my guitar some and it was so calming to me and grounded me. I have so far been able to play some basic songs, like Amazing Grace (from a hymnal), BIBLE, and Chopsticks. I struggle to memorize the music but this will help. I am excited to be able to play part of Chopsticks though. I have also blogging and drawing. Art has always been fairly easy for me - at least drawing. I was able to appreciate the fact that when I took Drawing 1 in undergrad, it was during those times i was able to stay still and relax. I enjoyed talking with my art professor in the studio - which was one place I felt understood. Of course, I am able to spend time outside, walk, run, and do home workouts. I really hope that I can integrate what I am able to know into my career - especially with going into academia - by reducing the angst and burnout that I commonly see.
I do want to end with this thought:
Think about what you missed most during the pandemic and how important it is to you, but also reflect on the things that were toxic - remember to consider what your passions are and what makes you thrive in life...
Comments
Post a Comment