Mental Health Awareness 2020
The month of May is Mental Health Awareness Month but I do think it should be considered all the time. These last few weeks I have learned more about myself including my all overall mental health as a graduate student and young adult. It is also important for everyone to think about during the pandemic as well. As a society, many of us are used to being busy all the time and struggling with stress. We often fail to see how it takes a toll on our mental and physical health. I have also noticed kids are impressionable and they learn early on these same habits.
One of my goals I have to work on how to work with my ADHD and getting accurate testing to determine if there is an underlying learning disability. One of the common things with ADHD, Autism, learning disabilities, sensory disabilities, physical disabilities, and chronic illnesses is that depression, anxiety, and mental health challenges can occur alongside them. Many people (not all) are prone to developing symptoms of anxiety and depression due to constantly compensating and lack of supports. Bullying can also contribute to this happening. Or, in the case of developing blindness or another type of chronic disease, there is a grieving process and depression from your life being changed.
I know one of things I have been told is it's hard to tell if it anxiety or ADHD symptoms - since they can overlap. And sometimes things are not always as they seem either. When I finally went on proper treatment for ADHD, alongside having a structured schedule (translating to a lot of things to keep me busy), running/working out, proper sleep hygiene, and positive reinforcement - I STILL HAD A HARD TIME. Why??? Because I also had some learning challenges that I contributed to ADHD for years. I made the mistake of assuming medication is the "cure-all." I do know people who have bipolar disorder, depression, eating disorders, borderline personality disorder... to name some require coping skills, therapeutic interventions, and medications. It also means the same thing for those who have developmental disabilities or learning disabilities.
In my case, due to my past and compensating, I have perfectionist tendencies, OCD, some traits of ED-NOS, and general anxiety. When I am faced with stressful situations, I have developed compulsions related to body image, numbers, and teeth to help me cope. Other times, I will flat avoid stressful situations and stop speaking. However, this is not my "normal baseline" and I have noticed trends associated with ... school!!! - yes, it's ironic being I am grad student and dealing with those challenges.
MORAL: it is important to find out what your difficulties are and build a team to work through them and find accommodations. They are available but I know it is hard to ask for help or worry about stigmas. Sometimes, it can be as simple as implementing assistive technology or a trusted friend to hold you accountable.
Graduate School... I was talking with one of my professors (recently retired) and she gave me insight on graduate school that I wish I acknowledged sooner. She mentioned that graduate students should take their time to focus on classes first and worry about the thesis/research later in their program. This was surprising to me because I was told it was better to start on my research way before my program & focus on classes. However, not every student can. I took classes but I also had to find work to support myself financially. This is also the case for students who are also still living at home with their family. On the other hand, there are students who have their families and other obligations.
In retrospect, I should have taken my first advisors advice with a grain of salt. I know my circumstances were not the same as her experience with TA'ing in graduate & PhD program and I should do what works best for my life. I did notice when I did try to work, go to classes, and work on my thesis stuff... The thesis went to the back burner. Not intentionally, but graduate classes are a lot of work. Lets not forget working, family matters,... oh and managing my personal life.
Until I switched advisors, I noticed I had a downward trend in my overall attitude about school. I worked really hard in classes, including ones that I did not need to take, to do well. It was more intense due to the fact I was working and do have to work different than other students because of my learning differences. Then I noticed I was wiped out ALOT. I actually fell asleep in church. I also started avoiding my advisor and considered going into teaching because I would never make it as a researcher.
Who works with you in graduate school can help make or break you. You are expected to be independent, yes. But you should also consider your mental and physical health and I had to learn that through some challenging lessons. I felt so much better when I switched to an advisor I clicked with. I was able to lead by laying out plans and had my questions answered. I was told about opportunities and she even went to get me networking with someone at the local state health agency. During the pandemic, I told her I was having a hard time with anxiety and she encouraged me to focus on classes first - then work on my thesis later. It is also important to use the SDS if you need other supports and counseling services if you are struggling.
I also learned the importance of having other hobbies and activities outside of academia. For me, it came in the form of STEAM classes and pre-k and kindergarten students. I literally had normal blood pressure coming in from my co-op at my last physical versus high white coat hypertension when coming straight from classes. Yet, many people noticed how excited and passionate I got when I came back from the school.... and the team I was with and other teachers were always so supportive of me!
So keep in mind - your mental health matters. No matter who you are! There are options out there. Don't underestimate the power of social connections and outside hobbies. Remember: those in academia are not robots - you are allowed to be who you are.
One of my goals I have to work on how to work with my ADHD and getting accurate testing to determine if there is an underlying learning disability. One of the common things with ADHD, Autism, learning disabilities, sensory disabilities, physical disabilities, and chronic illnesses is that depression, anxiety, and mental health challenges can occur alongside them. Many people (not all) are prone to developing symptoms of anxiety and depression due to constantly compensating and lack of supports. Bullying can also contribute to this happening. Or, in the case of developing blindness or another type of chronic disease, there is a grieving process and depression from your life being changed.
I know one of things I have been told is it's hard to tell if it anxiety or ADHD symptoms - since they can overlap. And sometimes things are not always as they seem either. When I finally went on proper treatment for ADHD, alongside having a structured schedule (translating to a lot of things to keep me busy), running/working out, proper sleep hygiene, and positive reinforcement - I STILL HAD A HARD TIME. Why??? Because I also had some learning challenges that I contributed to ADHD for years. I made the mistake of assuming medication is the "cure-all." I do know people who have bipolar disorder, depression, eating disorders, borderline personality disorder... to name some require coping skills, therapeutic interventions, and medications. It also means the same thing for those who have developmental disabilities or learning disabilities.
In my case, due to my past and compensating, I have perfectionist tendencies, OCD, some traits of ED-NOS, and general anxiety. When I am faced with stressful situations, I have developed compulsions related to body image, numbers, and teeth to help me cope. Other times, I will flat avoid stressful situations and stop speaking. However, this is not my "normal baseline" and I have noticed trends associated with ... school!!! - yes, it's ironic being I am grad student and dealing with those challenges.
MORAL: it is important to find out what your difficulties are and build a team to work through them and find accommodations. They are available but I know it is hard to ask for help or worry about stigmas. Sometimes, it can be as simple as implementing assistive technology or a trusted friend to hold you accountable.
Graduate School... I was talking with one of my professors (recently retired) and she gave me insight on graduate school that I wish I acknowledged sooner. She mentioned that graduate students should take their time to focus on classes first and worry about the thesis/research later in their program. This was surprising to me because I was told it was better to start on my research way before my program & focus on classes. However, not every student can. I took classes but I also had to find work to support myself financially. This is also the case for students who are also still living at home with their family. On the other hand, there are students who have their families and other obligations.
In retrospect, I should have taken my first advisors advice with a grain of salt. I know my circumstances were not the same as her experience with TA'ing in graduate & PhD program and I should do what works best for my life. I did notice when I did try to work, go to classes, and work on my thesis stuff... The thesis went to the back burner. Not intentionally, but graduate classes are a lot of work. Lets not forget working, family matters,... oh and managing my personal life.
Until I switched advisors, I noticed I had a downward trend in my overall attitude about school. I worked really hard in classes, including ones that I did not need to take, to do well. It was more intense due to the fact I was working and do have to work different than other students because of my learning differences. Then I noticed I was wiped out ALOT. I actually fell asleep in church. I also started avoiding my advisor and considered going into teaching because I would never make it as a researcher.
Who works with you in graduate school can help make or break you. You are expected to be independent, yes. But you should also consider your mental and physical health and I had to learn that through some challenging lessons. I felt so much better when I switched to an advisor I clicked with. I was able to lead by laying out plans and had my questions answered. I was told about opportunities and she even went to get me networking with someone at the local state health agency. During the pandemic, I told her I was having a hard time with anxiety and she encouraged me to focus on classes first - then work on my thesis later. It is also important to use the SDS if you need other supports and counseling services if you are struggling.
I also learned the importance of having other hobbies and activities outside of academia. For me, it came in the form of STEAM classes and pre-k and kindergarten students. I literally had normal blood pressure coming in from my co-op at my last physical versus high white coat hypertension when coming straight from classes. Yet, many people noticed how excited and passionate I got when I came back from the school.... and the team I was with and other teachers were always so supportive of me!
So keep in mind - your mental health matters. No matter who you are! There are options out there. Don't underestimate the power of social connections and outside hobbies. Remember: those in academia are not robots - you are allowed to be who you are.
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